"Profligate" in Poland: The first games

Poland 1 Greece 1

Poland’s opener against Greece under a sweaty stadium roof was a highly enjoyable draw marked by panic stricken goalkeepers and a dire referee.

 

At half time, Poland's goal by the comparatively easy to pronounce Lewankowski (Lev-an-kov-ski) was welcomed by a relieved Alan Hansen, who conspicuously avoided referring to any other player by name throughout. The excellent Jakub Błaszczykowski, for example, remained suspiciously unheralded.

The game introduced the tournament’s first villain: Spanish referee Carlos Velasco Carballo, who gave two yellow cards to Greek defender Papastathopoulos — the first for heading the ball and the second for falling over.

Russia 4 Czech 1

Later in the evening, Russia laid down the gauntlet with a team cleaved from the land’s two strongest teams, Zenit St Peterburg and CSKA Moscow. Arshavin and young star Alan Dzagoev were rampant for Russia in a 4-1 counter attacking masterclass reminiscent of Germany’s assault on England in South Africa . The Czechs were slow at the back and in attack could offer only Milan Baros, an isolated figure who, despite being only thirty years old, seems like a player from another time — from the days when Bergers, Šmicers, and Michael Owens walked the earth.

Denmark 1 Netherlands 0

The Dutch disaster against Denmark on Saturday came out of the blue for the likes of me. Despite dominating possession and having a shot every three minutes, Holland, and Robin Van Persie in particular, were an uptight calamity of fluffed lines, bad first touches, and drunken Heskey-like airshots. The wastefulness in front of goal allowed Lineker to try out football’s latest buzzword “profligate”, a word that has come to dominate the football lexicon ever since Barcelona lost to Chelsea. Even Steve Claridge is at it, believe me.

Germany 1 Portugal 0 

Podolski, not German enough for Lawro

Germany vs Portugal was the first tournament disappointment. Portugal sat deep looking only for the draw against a surprisingly timid German side. I fell asleep twice before Gomez headed Germany’s winner in the 75^th minute. My weariness might also be blamed on the German fans’ infernal repetitive song, not to mention Mark Lawrenson’s punditry which was later described as like being from someone “occasionally looking up from a crossword”.  

Lawro was in particularly sour mood.  He dismissed German coach Joachim Loew as a “Man at C&A”, whatever that means coming from Lawrenson, then he appeared to complain about Polish born Lukas Podolski for choosing to play for Germany.  That’s Preston born Mark Lawrenson, who gained 39 caps for Ireland.