The Day The Music Died: England hold France to a draw

England 1 France 1

Like dark clouds parting to reveal a bright blue sky, like the sight of the first flowers after a long cruel winter, like the church bells pealing to herald the end of war, the pre-match news filtered through that the England band had been denied entry to the stadium at Donetsk. The eighteen year headache was over.

Throughout and after the match, Twitter was jubilant with praise for the unnamed Ukrainian official responsible. Free from the tyranny of those drum thumping orcs, English fans were able do what English fans do best, singing with unrivalled gusto and spontaneous passion. Like proper football fans.

Back in 1998, Channel Four ran a fly-on-the-wall documentary called Playing For England following these arseholes to France for the World Cup. Led by Christian teetotallers and a self aggrandizing manchild from Sheffield, the band took the England gig so seriously that when a young recruit on drums had to pull out of the tournament and return to Sheffield after his father’s sudden death, he was shunned by the regulars who derided him to his face for “lack of commitment”.      

Donetsk is a long way to go carrying a drum. Shame.  

But now the football. It soon became clear that Roy had been busy on the training ground when England’s defence and midfield solidified into two rigid rows of four. The French strolled and limbered looking for gaps, while England merely made minor horizontal adjustments as per Hodgson’s instructions, always in perfect unison, like he was operating them on rods in a table football match.

The Ox. Disciplined 

Hodgson’s game is built around organisation, and his hypnotic power seemed to have affected everybody, from 18 year old Oxlade-Chamberlain to captain Steven Gerrard. Both of whom were extraordinarily disciplined throughout. Humble pie is deserved for me having spent the last few months telling everyone Gerrard was a spent force with no football brain left. He was the team's smartest player.   

With England’s containment plan working better than anyone could have hoped, Man City defender Lescott scored with a header. Then their Man City player shot low past our Man City goalkeeper to level. Nasri’s goal for France exploited the only occasion in the entire game where England lost their shape and concentration. Parker found himself too deep and was unable to close Nasri down in time.

The end result was a satisfying draw for England. Most people realised that England were going to play with their backs to the wall for this fixture, but few predicted (least of all me) how well England would cope in the middle of the park, let alone that England would retain possession for spells, and offer a goal threat on occasion (Welbeck, for example was excellent).