Thursday, June 28, 2012

Good, Bad and Ugly: Spain beat Portugal on pens


Spain 0 Portugal 0 (Spain win on penalties)
Bruno Alves

No player in Euro 2012 looks more like a tobacco spitting badass from a spaghetti western than Portugal’s Bruno Alves. So it was appropriate that Alves was chosen to take a penalty ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo in the climactic shoot-out against Spain.

When the time came, El Bruno paced towards the penalty spot — eyes occupied. 

The hissing crowd became silent. 

An imaginary Ennio Morricone soundtrack swelled. A church bell chimed. Trumpets blasted. Bruno looked up and eyeballed Iker Casillas. Casillas stared back. Tension unbearable then…

Nani suddenly raced forward and tapped Bruno on the shoulder to tell him he’d got the order wrong. It was actually Nani’s turn to take a penalty. Oops.

Bruno retreated looking chastened.  

When Bruno eventually did take his penalty everybody in the stadium knew he’d miss except Bruno himself. Of course, he smashed it against the crossbar.  

After Alves’s miss, Cesc Fabregas needed to score to send Spain through, which he did, denying a starring role to Cristiano who had yet to even take a penalty for the Portuguese. Post match pundits were left querying why Ronaldo didn’t take a penalty earlier in the shoot-out, effectively blaming him for missed penalties he didn’t even take.

Before offering too much sympathy to Ronaldo, remember he did squander a superb opportunity to win the game in the dying seconds of the 90 minutes. Free on goal he blasted his shot over the crossbar, and was left pouting in frustration while the final whistle blew.  

A goal was badly needed all night as it was an ugly, cautious affair. Portugal confronted Spain as best they could, and rattled them for long periods in the 90 minutes but couldn’t find the target. The introduction of Pedro and Jesus Navas, who themselves sound like a duo of banditos from the Mojave desert, gave Spain more speed and urgency in extra time, but they couldn’t score either.   

Portugal’s defence, including badass Bruno, were fantastic to a man. BBC pundit Martin Keown (yes, I know) seemed most impressed with Pepe for charging into Spain’s Jordi Alba at full throttle. Keown was also full of praise for Portugal’s left back Fábio Coentrão, though he clearly had made no attempt to learn how to pronounce his name. C’trow? Quotrow? Quatro? 

For future reference, Martin, here’s Cristaino Ronaldo giving pronunciation lessons to another media pundit who can’t pronounce Coentrão’s name.    


     

1 comment:

  1. A strange and disappointing game began with de Bosque's left field inclusion of Negredo who proved to be yet another false number 9 but this time due to his dismalness rather than any tactical gubbins. He shouldn't even have been in the squad, especially at the expense of Roberto Soldado, so to pick him for the semi-final seemed incredibly perverse.It does illustrate that del Bosque appears unsure of how to get the best out of his squad & in particular the dozen identikit midfield maestros they possess. The media keep comparing them to Barcelona but that is just annoyingly lazy journalism. Barcelona under Pep have always relied heavily on pace on the flanks, both from the full backs or from the wide forwards. Their relatively poor showing this year can be put down to a large extent to the injuries to Villa & Pedro. In their absence, the youth players Cuenca & Tello were promoted, perhaps too quickly, to provide some pace. In the same way, Spain's use of two holding midfielders in Alonso & Busquets seems excessive, providing control at the expense of a bit more dynamism. Alonso seems one of several players who looks very tired, the same as Xavi & particularly David Silva, who is doing nothing to warrant a starting place. An honourable mention should go to Iniesta who has been superb throughout the tournament. Other players may be more exhilarating or dynamic to watch but there is surely no one in world football that is so graceful & so utterly masterful of ball & space as the little big foreheaded magician. An absolute delight.
    The Portuguese started very well but their desire and stamina seemed to drastically wane towards the end of normal time. Their penalty shennanigans were enjoyably farcical. Ronaldo had a very good tournament but who couldn't raise a grin at him being stranded kickless in the penalty shoot out, ultimate glory again just out of reach. If they had done some proper research they would have known that in 9 of the last 10 penalty shoot-outs in World Cups & Euros the tenth penalty taker has not been needed. Twat!

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